It is time to do something

This is not a cry for help it is my own call for action.  I thought I could beat it but it is beating me.  Time to ask those people I trust for help.  Be wary what you ask for :D  You may one day get it.

Please ignore this post. Really.

I have been having trouble with my depression recently.  Month or so back went to a psychiatrist and he thinks it is because of the medication so ups it.  I then finish a couple of weeks at work and think he may be right.  Went on holidays for two weeks and went from strength to strength.

But then I am back at work this week.  Everything is a struggle.  I am walking on eggshells and the things I do to relieve the stress of it all has turned sour like month old milk left in a bucket on a Gold Coast beach.  Work has undergone major transformation and I wish I had last year back.

If you knew how shit last year was for me at work you would realise how big a statement that is.

I am writing this just to get it all off my chest and get some form of relief.  Please realise that it will probably be deleted in the morning and I just needed to vent and then I will wake up and be refreshed.

See, I am better already.

Goodnight.

Ever Have One Of Those Days?

I am.

Let us hope it is not Groundhog Day.

You Can Be Anything You Want

These are true words.  

But how many of us make it?

I only know what I want now, and I think I am a little past the chance of gaining it.

If you know what you need, chase it.  If you have to risk to do it, take the risk.  You will always regret the moment that you did not take the chance.  Failure is fleeting, never having tried is a regret you will never shake.

The World Sucks

If you have not picked up in the past posts I am a solid atheist.  Thus it always comes as a surprise to me that when something happens to make me think the world sucks that I feel it should be fairer.

Being an atheist to me is the realization that there is no god(s) or greater purpose.  But it is also the belief that there is no such thing as good and evil.  There are no great forces in the world, there is just perception.  And that is why I get surprised that I always react with a that is not fair attitude to these things.

The thing that makes me happy is to know that I have such a capacity for caring for others.  I don't do it because some religion tells me to, I do it because I genuinely care about these people that bad stuff happens to.  

Just know, that if I had the money, I would be on a plane right now.  If you are scratching your head and wondering WTF is that idiot talking about? go to my major blog and all will be clearer.

Mark

The Other Blog...

I am getting a little disheartened recently with my main blog at www.thepathfinderchronicles.com.  Reason why is I am pouring everything I can into keeping it improving and nothing seems to be working.  I realise that I have some problems with the blog, if they can be called problems, and I am not sure what I can do about them.

The list of problems;

1. Name of the blog is a bit misleading as it is not just Pathfinder that I deal with, I have a broad focus
2. The posts that I think would be very popular (like my encounter series) are just not attracting any interest
3. Organisation of the blog needs to be cleaned up but to do that I will lose a massive amount of metrics.
4. There is nowhere near enough conversation coming in from readers

I really want my blog to be a go to resource.  I read a blog from another site talking about numbers and they were talking about posts reaching 2000 views in a month.  I get NOWHERE near that amount of views.  In fact my highest viewed post has just around 2000 views now and it has been out for around a year and a half to two years.

I just want the blog to show continuous improvement BUT it has really gone absolutely nowhere with numbers etc. since the start of the year.  In all honesty I was working far less hard on it at the end of the year last year as I am now and there seems to be no reward for the work.

Anyone out in internet land able to give me a few ideas to try?

My Way of Handling "Situations"

When conflict comes into my life I have a very reserved way of handling things and I am not sure that it is the best way of handling things.  If I am confronted by a situation that revolves around my ideals and another's beliefs then how do I handle it.

I am a person that wants 100% facts about circumstances.  If I am going to take something or someone to task for their actions I want an argument that is infallible and irrefutable.  If I can not have that type of argument then I do not have the argument.

For example, if someone says to me "Did you see what x wrote about you on the internet?" I ask what exactly did they write?  When they tell me and the writing does not have my name in the text at all and there is no other hard evidence that it was about me then I let it go.  All the circumstantial evidence may point a finger directly at the writing being about me but it does not offer the 100% proof and so I would let this situation go.

It would bother me.  I will dwell on this issue and it will annoy me but the offending party may well get away with this behaviour because I will not approach or reply in any way shape or form to the alleged insult.  It is not so much that I do not like conflict, I just like to be right.

If I approached the said person about the comments and they stated "Wasn't about you." Then where am I at.  I have no resolution and no recourse.  Sure, I could argue about it but as long as they kept saying "I never mentioned you and it was not about you" then the argument gets old and inert.  then I look like an ass for even bringing it up.

I do realise that I am probably in the minority in this regard.  I say that because people I know spend a lot of time accusing me for stuff that I have said or done with little to no proof whatsoever.  I do not say that to make myself appear like a complete nasty toad but it is true.  Most of the people around me tend to shoot their mouth off first without thinking about the situation.  These people probably like me as I am honest all the time unless;

• I am contractually obligated to say nothing such as privacy agreements and the like
• If someone has told me something in confidence then I keep it that way.

So what about it internet land?  Am I a dinosaur?  Should I just open my mouth and accuse without the 100% truth on my side?  What percentage of truth is OK to hit people up with?  There are people telling me I am encouraging such bad behaviour because I do not take the alleged offending parties to task about it.  Should I change my ways?